A Little on Depression

Depression is real. I know. I had it. For a long time. On and off, for years. And it wasn't until I confronted my demons that I conquered that mental disease (after it got harder, of course). And it took time. I incorporated as many things as I could into this lifestyle change to get better. I started going to the gym, making and going out with friends, dating, taking vitamins and eating better, and not brooding by myself so much. I have yet to talk publicly about circumstances leading to that dramatic confrontation. I hesitate for good reason. (But I will, at some point, during a future podcast episode because I think it's important.) It isn't easy being judged. I try to reserve judgment of others, not to make unneeded assumptions, which I think are the root of many a problem interpersonally and societally, for instance. 

Anyway, I'd just like to encourage people for now to keep fighting. I did. And even though it seemed seriously impossible that I would reach this level of being happy and content with myself and with life, I have. During depression, one's thinking is clouded. So don't rush to anything. It's like when you're upset. After you calm down, your thinking of the same event changes significantly. It's suddenly not as bad, the instigator not as evil, you less the victim.

I'm partly motivated for this post because of Linkin Park singer Chester Bennington's death. I've been a fan for many years. And I'm saddened to know that someone who must've felt and thought many things that I had, gave up. (Maybe I also identify with him since there was a time when I tried to be a singer in a band, too.) Suicide is selfish. But no one can share your internal pain. I'm not judging. But depression is something that must be fought. Keep fighting. You are capable of so much more. I see it now in myself.